This is McCoy. Leave your name and a message, and I'll get back to you when I can. If this is a medical emergency, hang up and proceed to the nearest medical facility immediately.
[No, no, no, he's not going to smile at that cantankerousness because it's familiar, he's not, you can't make him.]
[Damnit. Resistance is futile. He doesn't smile, but there's a light in his eyes that indicates he's not going to hold this against McCoy. Not for long, anyway.]
I am normal, thank you. [ He is totally offended you would think he's not! McCoy's not the one with a crazy magical voo doo ring, okay? ] Wantin' ta heal someone is normal... Christ.
[ He glances at the readings on his medical tricorder and continues lower past his head and neck without a word. Mentally, he checks out. Physically... He can't resist any longer. Grumbling about being nothing more than a wild animal, he pulls a twig out of the man's hair.
Like a goddamned animal! ]
Anyway, I'm pretty sure my stories are boring compared to yours... But we've got plenty to drink now, thanks to you.
[ He doesn't need to drink it all by himself anyway. Bones'd like to appear like an upstanding citizen and not a functioning alcohol thank you very much. ]
Ye-ah, jabbing people's necks with, what's that again? [he squints at the hypospray] a hypodermic needle? Is completely normal behaviour.
[A thoughtful pause.]
Maybe it is if you're from Apiaton — ow! [he makes a show of flinching at the twig being removed.] Jeez! All this violence! Just because an innocent twig befriended me!
Please! Don't be so barbaric. No one uses hypodermic needles anymore. [ Really, Kyle, get with the times. ] This lil' beauty uses air to inject the liquid. Less skin abrasion and doesn't transmit blood from host to instrument, so I can use it on multiple patients without transmitting disease. [ Yes, he is so proud to lecture you on how awesome his medical tools are! ]
And jabbin' people's necks is normal behavior for a CMO, smart ass. You know how many times I've had to sneak up on Jim just to give him mandatory vaccines? [He snorts in disgust. ] For chrissake, I'm a doctor, not a ninja.
[ There's another snort when Kyle gets all melodramatic on him. He's been spending far too much time around Jim for his own good. ] Ha, you have yet to see me violent, and for all you know, that damn twig has given you head lice! [ It hasn't, of course, but he was trying to make a point here! ] So just shaddup and let me work!
Right, well, I'll get right on that next time I find one. [ Thought it might turn out to be imperative if most of the civilians around here act like Kyle and Jim. Why anyone would be against free medical treatment, he just can't wrap his mind around it. ]
Fortunately for you, you don't because I didn't bring delousin' spray...
[ Once his tricorder finally traveled past the man's neck, McCoy is actually taken aback by the readings. He knows the kid had been injured weeks ago, but the extensiveness of it and other injuries is appalling. ] My God, man, what the hell have you been doin' on this damn turtle?! Is there some kind of initiation around here I need to know about?
[He doesn't need to take off Kyle's shirt to know exactly what it looks like. ]
... Everything. [ Yeah, it's blunt, but sugarcoating never solved any problem. ] Scar tissue along your back, your shoulders... If I knew the native calendar, I could tell ya the very day ya got 'em.
[ McCoy continues down his body, and finally his shock is overcome by annoyance. He tsks loudly at the kid, very tempted to slap him upside the head. ] Damnit, this is exactly why I wanted to check you weeks ago! Those ribs you were so delicately holdin'? Misaligned!
[He repeats the word quietly. The marks aren't even half of what he's been through - the ring healed the rest but he remembers those, too. The day he got them, who inflicted the wounds, everything. McCoy knowing... hurts less than Kyle thought it would. He exhales quietly, and then grins sheepishly at the doctor when he mentions the ribs, giving a 'what can you do' shrug.]
[He says this with some bemusement, but hey, it's not the worst he's had and McCoy... knows that. Kyle stills, and listens to his heart pounding in his ears (it had stopped, once, when the Qwardian blade went through him, and the whole world had stopped with it), and pays attention.]
Right there, I thought I just pulled a muscle. Apparently not.
I'll make it as quick or slow as I damn well please! Can't rush perfection, kid!
[ Placing one hand above Kyle's heart to stabilize him, his other moves along his back until he can find the right angle against his palm. ]
Now breathe out.
[ As soon as Kyle does, Bones shoves his palm into the rib to force it back where it belongs. Technically, it's no longer message therapy when you forcibly pummel the thing into submission, but Kyle did say quick. he always tries to follow his patients' wishes. ]
[ He lifts the top off and can't help but whistle with appreciation. ]
Sure is some pretty fine whiskey here. I'll hafta make you one of my famous mint juleps sometime...
[ Taking each bottle out, he finds dark spiced rum, and one bottle of tequila which will be immediately shelved. Bones doesn't need to go anywhere near that stuff. ]
A li'l Romulan ale and we'd have a real party on our hands.
Are you kiddin' me? Doctors make the best bartenders!
[ All that chemistry forced down their throats had wonderful extracurricular potential! There's also the fact that doctors are the ones drunk most of the time, but Kyle doesn't need to know that. It's not something he can talk about with a level head yet. ]
Remember that...
[ Yes, okay, you can come over and get drunk with Bones if you need to talk about your feels. DOORS ALWAYS OPEN, KID. ]
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[Damnit. Resistance is futile. He doesn't smile, but there's a light in his eyes that indicates he's not going to hold this against McCoy. Not for long, anyway.]
By drinking and sharing, like normal people.
[He eyes the cylinder curiously.]
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[ He glances at the readings on his medical tricorder and continues lower past his head and neck without a word. Mentally, he checks out. Physically... He can't resist any longer. Grumbling about being nothing more than a wild animal, he pulls a twig out of the man's hair.
Like a goddamned animal! ]
Anyway, I'm pretty sure my stories are boring compared to yours... But we've got plenty to drink now, thanks to you.
[ He doesn't need to drink it all by himself anyway. Bones'd like to appear like an upstanding citizen and not a functioning alcohol thank you very much. ]
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[A thoughtful pause.]
Maybe it is if you're from Apiaton — ow! [he makes a show of flinching at the twig being removed.] Jeez! All this violence! Just because an innocent twig befriended me!
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And jabbin' people's necks is normal behavior for a CMO, smart ass. You know how many times I've had to sneak up on Jim just to give him mandatory vaccines? [He snorts in disgust. ] For chrissake, I'm a doctor, not a ninja.
[ There's another snort when Kyle gets all melodramatic on him. He's been spending far too much time around Jim for his own good. ] Ha, you have yet to see me violent, and for all you know, that damn twig has given you head lice! [ It hasn't, of course, but he was trying to make a point here! ] So just shaddup and let me work!
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You could totally be a ninja. You'd be the first ninja doctor. Jumps out at people from alleyways to give them free checkups.
And I don't have head lice. Or lice of any kind.
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Fortunately for you, you don't because I didn't bring delousin' spray...
[ Once his tricorder finally traveled past the man's neck, McCoy is actually taken aback by the readings. He knows the kid had been injured weeks ago, but the extensiveness of it and other injuries is appalling. ] My God, man, what the hell have you been doin' on this damn turtle?! Is there some kind of initiation around here I need to know about?
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[Carefully:] What's it showing you?
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... Everything. [ Yeah, it's blunt, but sugarcoating never solved any problem. ] Scar tissue along your back, your shoulders... If I knew the native calendar, I could tell ya the very day ya got 'em.
[ McCoy continues down his body, and finally his shock is overcome by annoyance. He tsks loudly at the kid, very tempted to slap him upside the head. ] Damnit, this is exactly why I wanted to check you weeks ago! Those ribs you were so delicately holdin'? Misaligned!
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[He repeats the word quietly. The marks aren't even half of what he's been through - the ring healed the rest but he remembers those, too. The day he got them, who inflicted the wounds, everything. McCoy knowing... hurts less than Kyle thought it would. He exhales quietly, and then grins sheepishly at the doctor when he mentions the ribs, giving a 'what can you do' shrug.]
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[ Thumb and index finger press lightly against the last rib on his back. ]
Well, shockingly, they can float around where they really don't belong.
[ He follows the the seam of the rib to his spine, poking gently along the way. ]
They hurt at all? Pressin' against somethin' they shouldn't?
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[He says this with some bemusement, but hey, it's not the worst he's had and McCoy... knows that. Kyle stills, and listens to his heart pounding in his ears (it had stopped, once, when the Qwardian blade went through him, and the whole world had stopped with it), and pays attention.]
Right there, I thought I just pulled a muscle. Apparently not.
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Alright. Well, there's a pretty simple way to fix that: Good ol' fashioned elbow grease.
[ Is Bones going to enjoy this? Yes. Yes, he is. ]
Breathe in.
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Just make it quick.
[He's got to play up being young and reckless, doesn't he? 8D]
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[ Placing one hand above Kyle's heart to stabilize him, his other moves along his back until he can find the right angle against his palm. ]
Now breathe out.
[ As soon as Kyle does, Bones shoves his palm into the rib to force it back where it belongs. Technically, it's no longer message therapy when you forcibly pummel the thing into submission, but Kyle did say quick. he always tries to follow his patients' wishes. ]
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I think it worked!
[Then his expression becomes pensive, and casually:] You know, I usually break people's noses for calling me kid.
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[ He moves around the other side of Kyle and lays his hands back on the young man. ]
Well [ McCoy's eyebrow slides up his forehead. ] Good thing I'm a doctor, then.
Breathe in again.
[ He follows through on the last rib, pressing it back into place where it belongs. ]
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Fine. I suppose you can.
[You were kind to me.]
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There. Good as new--Woulda been a lot earlier if ya hadn't dug yer heels in like an Alabama tick! Stubborn'll only ever get you dead.
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[It's a mild chastisement, and he grins up at Bones, bright and earnest.]
Thanks.
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Yer welcome. [ It's gruff, but the good doctor slaps him on the shoulder to tell him he's all done. ]
And thank you for the liquor. Though, it makes me wonder if you take me for some kinda alcoholic...
[ Seriously, a crate?! NOT that Bones is complaing! ]
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[He gets up, and stretches.]
Thought you might need it. That's not native alcohol, I got it last landfall. Probably the only crate of its kind in the city, so use sparingly.
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[ He lifts the top off and can't help but whistle with appreciation. ]
Sure is some pretty fine whiskey here. I'll hafta make you one of my famous mint juleps sometime...
[ Taking each bottle out, he finds dark spiced rum, and one bottle of tequila which will be immediately shelved. Bones doesn't need to go anywhere near that stuff. ]
A li'l Romulan ale and we'd have a real party on our hands.
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[He smiles, fondly as the bottles are examined.]
What, you're a mixologist too?
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[ All that chemistry forced down their throats had wonderful extracurricular potential! There's also the fact that doctors are the ones drunk most of the time, but Kyle doesn't need to know that. It's not something he can talk about with a level head yet. ]
Remember that...
[ Yes, okay, you can come over and get drunk with Bones if you need to talk about your feels. DOORS ALWAYS OPEN, KID. ]
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[He walks over to the crate.]
Need any help carrying it in?
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